The death of legendary R&B producer and music executive Andre Harell has hit his longtime friend and collaborator Diddy particularly hard.

“I’ve got to give myself the reality of this in doses. Because I can’t even handle this,” said Diddy in an Instagram message on Monday (May 11).

The Uptown Records founder, 59, died Friday (May 7) of heart failure, according to TMZ. 

Much of the world found out about his passing when DJ D-Nice announced the news during his Instagram Live show the next day. Harell had touched the lives and careers of hundreds in the entertainment and music industries, but he had a very profound influence on Diddy.

“I’m going to miss him so much,” Diddy continued in his post. “I can’t even imagine life without Dre. God bless @gianni, @onealmcknight and the rest of the family.“