In a forward of a book written by her late fiancee’s attorney, Shayanna Jenkins addressed the sexuality of former New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez. While Jenkins says she did not personally know about his struggle with his sexuality, she now wishes he would have opened up to her, as she would have had his back.

In Jose Baez's new book “Unnecessary Roughness,” Jenkins provided the forward, which is a detailed look at her relationship with Hernandez and his subsequent suicide. Both Baez—who defended the NFL star in his double-murder trial—and Jenkins were asked in Hernandez’s suicide letters to openly tell his story, reported The Daily Mail.

“There has been much speculation about Aaron’s sexuality since his death. I can say this: Aaron was very much a man to me,” Jenkins wrote in the forward.

“I saw no indication that he was gay or homosexual. I wish I had known how he felt, just so we could have talked about it. I wouldn’t have disowned him. I would have been supportive. I can’t fault him if he was feeling that way,” she continued.

Jenkins went on to say how she felt hurt Hernandez didn’t feel as though he could lean on her for support.

“When you love someone so much you just want to be there to support them. The fact that he felt he couldn’t come out to me or he couldn’t tell me these things hurts, because we had that bond,” wrote Jenkins.

In her foreword, Jenkins also revealed that she was not allowed to see Hernandez at the hospital and his untimely death was one he suffered alone.

“I raced to the hospital, but the doctors wouldn’t let me be with him. His death was still under investigation, they said. Someone told me he wasn’t even at the hospital, but that was a lie because I saw him being wheeled into a room,” wrote Jenkins. “He had died alone. I didn’t want him to be alone any longer. I wanted to see him while all of him was still intact. I wanted to hold him.”

Jenkins, who has daughter Avielle, 5, with Hernandez, gave birth in June to another daughter with Dino Guilmette.