If you couldn’t tell, Lizzo is living for the moment as she caps off a record year. The Michigan-born, Houston-bred multi-talented artist has become just as loved for her infectious, firecracker personality as she is for her body-affirmative anthems. While it may seem like she’s always had the juice, Lizzo revealed that hasn’t always been the case.

“I think if I was 21 right now, I would not be able to maintain this lifestyle without having major anxiety and panic attacks,” she told British Vogue. “But thank God, my journey is all about self-care and finding that love for yourself and nurturing yourself. Because that’s what artists need more than anything.”

As the latest star to grace the magazine’s December issue cover, the 31-year-old shared she went through her share of self-esteem issues growing up as she rarely saw women that looked like her.

“I think that took a greater toll on me, psychologically, growing up than what anyone could have said to me,” she confessed to the British publication.

Now, she’s fully confident in herself, although she admits she still has her moments of self-doubt. But, instead of trying to bury the negative feelings deep down inside, she let’s it manifest in her music.

“When I get really, really anxious before a show, I just go harder and harder and harder when I’m performing and I just go crazy,” she says. “I don’t know why, but my anxiety sometimes fuels who I am as a performer and who I am as an artist.”

As for anyone who thinks her body positivity is all for show, Lizzo asserts its never been a gimmick, adding “I’m not trying to sell you me. I’m trying to sell you, you.”

If there’s one thing to takeaway, it’s that Lizzo is feeling good as hell and wants her fans to feel that way, too.