Finding time to stop and smell the roses isn’t always easy but what about when someone wants you to stop and smell the grapes? Wine grapes that is. This is exactly what I thought about when I decided to imitate Issa Rae and her friends’ #NASTYNAPA trip last year. The girls got trashed together (um, do not look at me like that. They are all of age) and documented the whole thing for us on social media. Luckily, I’m very observant and cataloged exactly what to to.

First, the location. Napa isn’t exactly easy to get to. For starters, I live in New York. Napa, for those of you who are geographically challenged, is in California—northern California to be exact. This required a flight to San Francisco and then a drive to Napa, which is about 2 hours outside of the city. It’s the Hamptons of the West Coast if you will. So after a touristy day and night in San Fran, my sister and I were delivered a Chevy Traverse, a big black and might I add chic AF SUV. My suburban mom goals immediately were actualized. We put in the address of the retreat like resort where we were to check in once in Napa and hit the road.

That’s a lie, first we went to the Golden Gate Bridge for a photo opp but of course our plan was foiled by the damn fog. Ok, so then we hit the road. Driving over the Golden Gate Bridge with Ariana Grande’s Sweetner blasting through the Apple Car Play enabled sound system we seamlessly navigated the windy California roads until we rolled into the sleepy town of Calistoga.

Finally, when we pulled up to the resort, we handed the key fob over to the valet and hit the pool for some rest and relaxation. Not before long, it was time to get to what we actually came to Napa for, the drinks! We piled into buses because, safety first (no drinking and driving) and rode to the nearby town of St. Helena where were treated to a local organic meal. Trust me, these biscuits, I’m still fantasizing about. It was more than worth the calories and I am positive Issa and her friends would agree. Though we did not really get #nasty this night, we still got a little taste of what Napa was like.

The next morning, we loaded up back into the Chevy Traverse for a sunrise yoga experience except, there was no sun to be seen. That San Fran fog had followed us across the bridge and put a definite chill in the air. Lucky for us, the Traverse has got some powerful seat warmers so our bootys stayed warm, even though we weren’t. After yoga, we navigated ourselves into town where parallel parking was a breeze thanks to the satellite camera features on the Traverse. After a hearty lunch, we drove back to the hotel for a spa day of rest and relaxation. Yes, Issa girl! We took all the notes!

Finally, it was time to head to a really special vineyard for the highlight of the trip. Yes, not it was time to embrace #nastynapa. The Cliff Lede Vineyard gave us a grand tour of the grounds and showed us how to make homemade mozzarella that I swear will change your whole entire life. After we ate, drank and got a little too merry, we went to the wine cellar to learn about how the harvest was stored and much more about the intricate and complicated world of wine production.

Sadly, in the morning it was time to hit the road in the Traverse, one last time (hehe, that’s an Ariana Grande joke) and drive to the airport. The smooth ride did help our hangovers and depression at having to leave behind Napa. We did all the things, drank all the wine, drove all the places and I feel like we made #nastynapa our own.

Thanks Issa as always for the inspo!