2018 was good for some and really bad for others. For Angela Simmons, it literally tore her family apart.

The actress and reality star’s ex-fiancé and baby’s father Sutton Tennyson was shot-and-killed two months ago inside his garage. Police officials believe a conversation with another man “escalated” and tragically resulted in his murder.

Simmons has already publicly reacted to Tennyson’s death, but now looking back at 2018, she’s sharing a new message of hope, and how her infant son Sutton Joseph will carry on his father’s legacy.

“As this year comes to a close ... I reflect on the most difficult hurdle I’ve ever had to face. And it’s losing my son’s father,” she captioned under an Instagram post of Tennyson holding his at-the-time newborn son. “To know that you are with us in spirit is sometimes just not enough . But as the new year comes in I know that I will do my best carrying Sj with your strength and mine. And now being mommy and daddy to our beautiful son . Thank you for my best gift ever. Sj will forever carry your name. Rest now . I got us ♥️💪🏽 2019 we are ready.”

We’re rooting for you Ang! Hopefully 2019 will bring you peace and a light for you and your son to move forward under.