On Monday’s Love and Hip-Hop New York episode, viewers learned that Remy Ma had finally decided to gift her husband, Papoose, with the news that she was pregnant.

But in a heartbreaking twist, the Bronx femcee learned that not only was she experiencing an ectopic pregnancy, in which doctors would need to remove the fetus, but she would also be unable to have any more pregnancies.

Though viewers were able to watch Remy’s tragedy through their television screens, she decided to post a personalized message for everyone on Instagram revealing her thoughts from the hospital bed. Discussing all of the expecting-mommy duties she had already planned, such as buying a pregnancy journal and starting baby goods shopping, Remy revealed that the diagnosis came as a shock to her as well.

“I never for one second thought that it would end like this,” she said in the video, still connected to machines and resting in her hospital bed. “With me in the hospital. With stitches in my stomach and no baby.”

Throughout the show's season, the Terror Squad raptress and Papoose had been discussing the possibility of having a baby, as Pap frequently expressed his desire for her to slow down a bit in order for them to plan for a new bundle of joy. Despite Remy’s earlier concern that a pregnancy may have interfered with the takeoff of her fruitful rap career, she obliged to a new parenthood amid her fresh marriage with Pap anyway. In the video’s caption, she also gave thanks to him, the thoughtful individuals who shared their condolences, and the hospital staff that watched over her during her time in the hospital.

“First, thank you to everyone that sent their congrats as well as condolences,” Remy wrote. “This was a hard time for me & my husband & we thought long and hard before deciding to share this part of our lives with you all. I was totally against it, but in a fit of crying [Papoose] said, ‘you are not the only one going through this. We will get through it.’ Made me realize how many women like myself experience the same thing and don't have a strong partner by their side to say it will be alright.”

She gave special thanks to a Dr. Razman, who performed the surgical procedure to remove the fetus, as well. In doing so, she shared that she did have plans for in-vitro fertilization and would want him to be her caretaker.

“And to Dr. Razmzan, who came to perform my surgery at 5 a.m., who tried his best to leave me scarless and succeeded, who eased any fears I had — thank you, and don't retire yet because once we find the right in-vitro doctor, you have to deliver my babies.”

See Remy’s stirring video and message below.