Drake might want to dial up Mario, Luigi and maybe even Yoshi after a butt-load of his songs leaked to the Web last night (May 20) in snippet form. Presumably material from his thirsted-for LP Views From the 6, the seven songs arrived in slithers no more than 15 seconds each, save for a collaboration with Beyoncé that seems unfinished. You might imagine Drake is undone right now, too. Poor guy.

But this is the Internet, where even Blue Ivy isn’t safe from unsolicited opinions, sadly. So the show must go on. Let’s get to opinionating on Drizzy’s baby: The Views From the 6 sample platter. Is it already a classic (obvi), or an epic flop (whaaa)? Here’s a breakdown, with ratings for each track in the order of the snippets compiled here. (The leak didn’t exactly come with liner notes, so we’ll just have to guestimate on the titles.) —John Kennedy (@youngJFK)

The Classic Drake Song
This first teaser could’ve blended right in on Thank Me Later. It’s got those same calming synths and muted percussion, housing some middle register Drake vocals. Is this a VFT6 interlude? Yeah, this definitely sounds like an interlude. Who is it dedicated to, though? Tasha? Chantel? Grace? Grace. We’ll call this one “Grace’s Interlude” from here on out. 7.5/10

“Can I,” Featuring Beyoncé
Drake wants to take things to the next level (or “go steady,” in Degrassi speak) on this sole full-length leak. Punctuated by spoken Beyoncé riffs (“can I,” “baby,” and “before I turn the lights down”), Drake offers his own moody take on “21 Questions.” “Can I... finally take the time and open up to you... baby?” Drake asks over a brooding beat, “cause that's the side you never get to see.” Either this record is an wonderfully modest use of a Beyoncé feature, or incomplete, in which case they’re off to a great start. 9/10

The R&B Duet
Over what sounds like a knocking Boi-1da beat, Drake reflects on his life back in the T Dot. He casually mentions that he’s still paying a car note for “this girl around my way,” which is probably, definitely, maybe 6 God talk for “Grace.” Who is this Grace chick?! Also, there are some background riffs here that belong to Aaliyah, or more likely Jhené Aiko. 7.5/10

The Emo Song, Featuring Big Sean (probably)
Drake dedicates this to a special someone with a few (hopefully) non-sequitur lines: “Legendary/Love you so much it’s unnecessary/Like it’s always two weeks into February.” Just how much love is unnecessary? And is it enough to become the stuff of folklore? Anyway, there go those same drums from “Grace’s Interlude” again. Meh. 6/10

The Rich Gang Leftover
Finally, a turn-up record! Young Thug stars here, which leads us to believe this song was recorded before the Barter 6 petty fest. Drake doesn’t appear on this snippet, and it’s kind of hard to imagine him over this menacing percussion pattern, unless he’s doing that thing where he yell-raps like he’s recording from the other side of the studio glass, in the control room. Thugga is about 82 percent understandable, a vast improvement over his usual 45 percent coherence. 7.5/10

My Best Jeremih Impersonation, Featuring Drake
$5,000 Yeezys. Jewelery that rivals the cost of a BMW. Women who work at the head office. Life is good when you’re Drake, and he’s here to tell you all about it, over drums that have clearly had too much to drink. This feels like a bonus cut from that throwaway LP Drake tricked you into buying. 5.5/10

The Olive Branch Song, Featuring Kendrick Lamar
Kendrick threatens “to shoot this game until my trigger finger jams,” as a mid-tempo instrumental with intergalactic blips plays the background. Drake is ghost on this final snippet, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he got killed on his own song (heh). Either Drizzy is no longer feeling some type of waaay about his frienemy from Compton or this is actually a Kendrick song that got erroneously tossed onto the Views From the 6 sampler. Whatever. None of this will matter once they’re both replaced by rapping robots who will finally give us the battle we’ve all been waiting for. 8.5/10
[Update: This song is actually a leftover from Kendrick's good kid, m.A.A.d city, titled "Partynauseous." The track, which was leaked last night in full, features Lady Gaga. Listen to it here.]

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(Photo: Drake via Instagram)