The Do’s and Don’ts of Co-Parenting

Tips on raising your kids with your ex.

DO It for the Kids - You fell in love, you had a baby and fell out of love with your now ex. But how can you raise your child and not be together with less drama? It’s going to take a lot of maturity and patience, but these tips may help you find a good balance. By Kellee Terrell (Photo:Wavebreak Media Ltd./Corbis)

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DO It for the Kids - You fell in love, you had a baby and fell out of love with your now ex. But how can you raise your child and not be together with less drama? It’s going to take a lot of maturity and patience, but these tips may help you find a good balance. By Kellee Terrell (Photo:Wavebreak Media Ltd./Corbis)

DO Have an Open Line of Communication - It’s not easy, especially if you didn’t have the best communication when you all were together. But it’s really important that you both talk often about a range of things including schedules, visitation, issues at school, rules and expectations, to name a few. The more you all talk, the more you can try to get on the same page for your child. (Photo:Tim Robbins/Mint Images/Corbis)

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DO Have an Open Line of Communication - It’s not easy, especially if you didn’t have the best communication when you all were together. But it’s really important that you both talk often about a range of things including schedules, visitation, issues at school, rules and expectations, to name a few. The more you all talk, the more you can try to get on the same page for your child. (Photo:Tim Robbins/Mint Images/Corbis)

DON'T Say Negative Things About Your Ex to Your Child - It’s hard to say nice things about your ex, especially if he's triffling to you. But try to keep your negative feelings about him to yourself. Ask your ex to make an effort to say nice things about you in front of the kids and vice versa. Remember, you both do have good qualities that you want your kids to take pride in. (Photo: Christopher Futcher/Getty Images)

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DON'T Say Negative Things About Your Ex to Your Child - It’s hard to say nice things about your ex, especially if he's triffling to you. But try to keep your negative feelings about him to yourself. Ask your ex to make an effort to say nice things about you in front of the kids and vice versa. Remember, you both do have good qualities that you want your kids to take pride in. (Photo: Christopher Futcher/Getty Images)

DO Talk About Making the Rules Consistent in Each Household - It’s important that your ex and you have the same ground rules when raising your child. For example, if television isn’t allowed until their homework is done, it needs to be that way at both homes. This consistency shows that you are both on a united front and it helps to keep your child on track. (Photo: Tetra Images/Corbis)

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DO Talk About Making the Rules Consistent in Each Household - It’s important that your ex and you have the same ground rules when raising your child. For example, if television isn’t allowed until their homework is done, it needs to be that way at both homes. This consistency shows that you are both on a united front and it helps to keep your child on track. (Photo: Tetra Images/Corbis)

DON'T Let Your Child Give You Guilt Trips - Kids are smart, they know how to manipulate and make you feel bad. You have to try hard to not let it get to you and stay firm with rules and parenting. Of course, your child may be lashing out because you and your ex aren’t together, so be patient and have an open ear to talk it out with them. (Photo:digitalskillet/Getty Images)

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DON'T Let Your Child Give You Guilt Trips - Kids are smart, they know how to manipulate and make you feel bad. You have to try hard to not let it get to you and stay firm with rules and parenting. Of course, your child may be lashing out because you and your ex aren’t together, so be patient and have an open ear to talk it out with them. (Photo:digitalskillet/Getty Images)

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DO Hammer Out Custody and Child Support When Possible - Having a legal, binding document that states what custody looks like and how much a month your ex should pay is a great thing to have. It helps you and your child for obvious reasons — financial support and consistency with visitation — but it also protects the father in terms of being guaranteed that no matter what drama is going on between you two, he still can see his kids. (Photo:AfricaImages/ Corbis)

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DO Hammer Out Custody and Child Support When Possible - Having a legal, binding document that states what custody looks like and how much a month your ex should pay is a great thing to have. It helps you and your child for obvious reasons — financial support and consistency with visitation — but it also protects the father in terms of being guaranteed that no matter what drama is going on between you two, he still can see his kids. (Photo:AfricaImages/ Corbis)

DON'T Air Out Your Issues on Social Media - We see this mistake every week: Angry parents using Facebook to air out their business with an ex about their parenting or lack thereof. But here’s the thing, public shaming doesn’t make the situation better, it can make it worse. If you are upset and feel like your ex is not living up to his responsibilities, perhaps your best bet is to go to him directly. (Photo: JGI/Jamie Grill/Blend Images/Corbis)

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DON'T Air Out Your Issues on Social Media - We see this mistake every week: Angry parents using Facebook to air out their business with an ex about their parenting or lack thereof. But here’s the thing, public shaming doesn’t make the situation better, it can make it worse. If you are upset and feel like your ex is not living up to his responsibilities, perhaps your best bet is to go to him directly. (Photo: JGI/Jamie Grill/Blend Images/Corbis)

DO Be Honest About Who Your Child Meets in Your Life - Looking at the beef Future has with Ciara for living her life, it may be helpful to have a conversation about dating and expectations about when your child should meet the people you are dating. Egos can get in the way here, but remember that you are both allowed to live your life and be happy with other people and remember that no other person can replace your role as a parent. (Photo: Tetra Images/Corbis)

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DO Be Honest About Who Your Child Meets in Your Life - Looking at the beef Future has with Ciara for living her life, it may be helpful to have a conversation about dating and expectations about when your child should meet the people you are dating. Egos can get in the way here, but remember that you are both allowed to live your life and be happy with other people and remember that no other person can replace your role as a parent. (Photo: Tetra Images/Corbis)

DON'T Accuse Him, Problem Solve - If there are things that your ex may be doing that are problematic when it comes to raising your child, you have to speak up. But it’s about how you say things that make all the difference. Ask if there are things that you both can be doing differently to change certain behaviors your child is exhibiting. (Photo: Wavebreak Media Ltd./Corbis)

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DON'T Accuse Him, Problem Solve - If there are things that your ex may be doing that are problematic when it comes to raising your child, you have to speak up. But it’s about how you say things that make all the difference. Ask if there are things that you both can be doing differently to change certain behaviors your child is exhibiting. (Photo: Wavebreak Media Ltd./Corbis)

DO Let Go of Some of the Control - It’s hard, but there are many ways to raise your child — and your way is not the only way. Your ex may do things differently, and as long as they fall within the expectations that you all have together, be open to his different approach. Let go a little of the control and let your ex discover his way of fathering. (Photo: LJM Photo/Design Pics/Design Pics/Corbis)

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DO Let Go of Some of the Control - It’s hard, but there are many ways to raise your child — and your way is not the only way. Your ex may do things differently, and as long as they fall within the expectations that you all have together, be open to his different approach. Let go a little of the control and let your ex discover his way of fathering. (Photo: LJM Photo/Design Pics/Design Pics/Corbis)