All the Single Ladies: Dating Rules to Ignore Now!

Relationship tips worthy of a side-eye.

Don’t Believe the Hype - This season, Mary Jane has gotten some pretty bad dating advice from people around her, including to not dating outside of her race. Can you relate? Here are some dating tips to ignore and give side-eye to the next time your girls try to school you about relationships. By Kellee Terrell (Photo: Maskot/Corbis)

1 / 16

Don’t Believe the Hype - This season, Mary Jane has gotten some pretty bad dating advice from people around her, including to not dating outside of her race. Can you relate? Here are some dating tips to ignore and give side-eye to the next time your girls try to school you about relationships. By Kellee Terrell (Photo: Maskot/Corbis)

Stick With the Brothas - Black men are dope, but that doesn’t mean they have to be the only men you can be with. If you’re like Mary Jane and want to test the waters by dating outside of your race, do you, boo! Broadening your horizons means opening up your dating pool to find more available men. No, interracial dating ain’t easy, but at the end of the day—love is love.  (Photo: BET)

2 / 16

Stick With the Brothas - Black men are dope, but that doesn’t mean they have to be the only men you can be with. If you’re like Mary Jane and want to test the waters by dating outside of your race, do you, boo! Broadening your horizons means opening up your dating pool to find more available men. No, interracial dating ain’t easy, but at the end of the day—love is love.  (Photo: BET)

Does He Appreciate You for Who You Are Right Now? - While he should make you want to be better, his love shouldn’t be based on these contingents of you being someone “better.” If you’re holding on because you think he will be better when you lose 25 pounds or get a raise or get more organized, Jenny, you in danger, girl. (Photo: Hero Images/Corbis)

3 / 16

What You Won’t Do, Someone Else Will - Now here’s the thing: This could possibly be true, but this advice is usually used to scare women into stepping outside of their comfort zones—and their values—to keep a man. If there are things that he wants you to do that ain’t your speed and you’re not willing to do it, then by all means tell that dude to go and find someone who better fits his style. (Photo: Corbis)

It Takes Time to Build Attraction  - Yes and no. It make time to figure out if you like a guy, like a few dates, but if it’s been over a month and you’re not lusting after him, it doesn’t matter how nice he is or what a good man he is, he’s not for you. And sticking around to “wait and see” if it will change is an utter waste of your time. (Photo: Sara Wight/Corbis)

4 / 16

It Takes Time to Build Attraction  - Yes and no. It make time to figure out if you like a guy, like a few dates, but if it’s been over a month and you’re not lusting after him, it doesn’t matter how nice he is or what a good man he is, he’s not for you. And sticking around to “wait and see” if it will change is an utter waste of your time. (Photo: Sara Wight/Corbis)

All Women Climax During Vaginal Intercourse - Yeah, no. In fact, most women actually need clitoral stimulation to reach the big O. There’s a reason folks think the G-Spot—which is key to vaginal orgasms—is a myth. It’s hard to find and even when you do, it’s hard to properly stimulate, and a penis is not the optimal tool to do it.(Photo: David Jakle/Corbis)

5 / 16

Let Him Make the First Move - This isn’t 1955: If you like a guy, instead of agonizing over why he hasn’t asked you out, step up and make the first move. He may not even know that you like him. If he’s interested, great; if not, you don’t have to spend another second obsessing about him. Plus, he might really like your confidence. (Photo: David Jakle/Corbis)

ADVERTISEMENT
Love Will Find You If You Stop Looking For It - There is something to be said for not being thirsty and going out to meet men every other night. The quantity of guys you are meeting doesn’t mean they are quality. But being a hermit at home is doing nothing for you either. You have to go out, meet people, join some online dating services...do something. No man is dropping from the sky on your doorstep wrapped in a bow. Sorry, boo.(Photo: Flint/Corbis)

6 / 16

Love Will Find You If You Stop Looking For It - There is something to be said for not being thirsty and going out to meet men every other night. The quantity of guys you are meeting doesn’t mean they are quality. But being a hermit at home is doing nothing for you either. You have to go out, meet people, join some online dating services...do something. No man is dropping from the sky on your doorstep wrapped in a bow. Sorry, boo.(Photo: Flint/Corbis)

The One You Think You Can Change - Whether you think he’s slightly dumb or wish he had a better paying job or want him to lose weight, settling down with a dude you don’t quite feel it for but think you can transform into a better version of himself is a setup. So much of marriage is about accepting and loving your partner unconditionally, and if you come in with a list of things you don’t love, you will always feel like you made the wrong choice.(Photo: Wavebreak Media LTD/Wavebreak Media Ltd./Corbis)

7 / 16

Dudes Only Want to Date The Submissive Type - No one wants to be a miserable person who is constantly picking fights and talking slick. And if you believe that women should be submissive, then go ahead and keep being you. But if that’s not your flow and you feel that you are pretending to be quiet and agreeable so he will like you, how happy are you really going to be? There are plenty of guys out there that will love your carefree independent fire. (Photo: Wavebreak Media LTD/Wavebreak Media Ltd./Corbis)

Moving Forward - If you insist on looking for ways to insult him during disagreements or bring up the past on a continual basis, you’re not ready to move forward. (Photo: Image Source/Corbis)

8 / 16

Stop Being So Picky - Regardless of the media making it seem like Black women are single because we are too selective, don’t believe the hype. Having realistic and unmaterialistic expectations and standards isn’t a bad thing. No, the guy doesn’t have to be perfect. No one is, but don’t ever settle for one because you are afraid of being alone.  (Photo: Image Source/Corbis)

Never Accept Last-Minute Dates - Yes, guys need to be respectful of your time and not think that you are willing to drop everything to spend time with them. But real talk: What’s the harm in accepting a last-minute date on a Tuesday when you didn’t have anything to do anyway? Spontaneous dates can sometimes be the best dates of all because you were least expecting them. (Photo: Blend Images/Corbis)

9 / 16

Never Accept Last-Minute Dates - Yes, guys need to be respectful of your time and not think that you are willing to drop everything to spend time with them. But real talk: What’s the harm in accepting a last-minute date on a Tuesday when you didn’t have anything to do anyway? Spontaneous dates can sometimes be the best dates of all because you were least expecting them. (Photo: Blend Images/Corbis)

You Will More Clearly Understand Your Limit - After taking a break from drinking for a month or so, your tolerance level has lowered. If you do decide to drink, remember to pay attention to your body and its limits. If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration online for resources or call the National Substance Abuse Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).(Photo: Laura Doss/Image Source/Corbis)

10 / 16

Put Yourself Out There, Even If You Aren’t Ready - Still in your feelings about a recent breakup and don’t feel like putting yourself out there? So don't. Rushing into something else without giving yourself the time to heal and deal with your past is a recipe for dating disaster. Go ahead and let your heart mend.   (Photo: Laura Doss/Image Source/Corbis)

ADVERTISEMENT
Whip Appeal - Establishing skin-to-skin contact with your lover can unknowingly lead to a sexual response by triggering continued sessions of foreplay. Your night of sleep just instantly turned into an all-night party for two. Not only does it arouse certain hormones to help you achieve the big “O” moment; it also promotes physical and emotional intimacy with your partner.  Let’s face it; sleeping in your birthday suit is much better than wearing flannel pajamas. Wouldn’t he agree?  (Photo: JGI/Jamie Grill/Blend Images/Corbis)

11 / 16

Always Wait to Have Sex - No doubt, when it comes to sex and dating, it’s complicated. There are couples who have been together for years after having sex on the first date. There are ladies who after doing the same thing, never hear from the dude again. It’s a toss-up, but remember, the choice is yours at the end of the day. Don’t let other people’s hang-ups influence your decisions. (Photo: JGI/Jamie Grill/Blend Images/Corbis)

138709063

12 / 16

You Better Learn How to Cook - Cooking is a great skill to have in order to eat healthy, save money and lose weight. But this notion that you better know how to “thrown down” if you want to keep a man is silly and sexist. Learn to cook for you, not anyone else. (Photo: Rolf Bruderer/GettyImages)

Interracial Dating May Not Be for You - What works for some may not work for others. If you find that dating a non-Black person isn’t for you and that you prefer to be with someone Black, then that’s OK, too. It’s good to try out new things and find out what you want for sure. (Photo: Skip ODonnell/GettyImages)

13 / 16

Don’t Ever Go Dutch - Times are tough. Not every guy can afford to pay for every date you go on. Just like you, he has student loans, other debt, rent, bills, etc. and may not be able to cover you and him. If it bothers you, be honest about it, but don’t automatically dump him because of it. (Photo: Skip O'Donnell/GettyImages)

New Restaurant - Diversify your culinary expertise by letting the new top dog chef in town cook you something nice.  (Photo: Ryan Mcvay/Getty Images)

14 / 16

He Has to Like You More Than You Like Him - Yes, having a guy who is attentive and craves your company is great, but you can have that without the imbalance of feelings (and the power trip.) If you are less into him than he is you and playing games, he’ll notice and he may not stick around long-term. (Photo: Ryan Mcvay/Getty Images)

Turn Off Your Cell Phone - Between Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and texting, your cell phone can be a serious distraction. So try disconnecting yourself from the digital world when you are seriously trying to get your study on. (Photo: Steve Debenport/Getty Images)

15 / 16

Act Like a Guy to Keep a Guy - No one is saying be thirsty, but you don’t have to be a jerk, not call or act as if you don’t care about him to keep him interested. And if he is a jerk who acts as if you’re more an option, why do you want to be with him in the first place? (Photo: Steve Debenport/Getty Images)

Step Up Your Makeup Game - Do you think your favorite celebrity has flawless skin? Make sure to Google that person without makeup. The cameras and lights are on you and its your chance to shine. Don't put the makeup on yourself, get a professional to do it. (Photo: George Doyle/Getty Images)

16 / 16

You Have to Look Awesome All the Time - There’s nothing wrong with wanting to put your best foot forward when you leave the crib, but let go of this pressure of having to look as if you stepped off a runway in order to meet a man or keep a man. The right guy will like you regular and dressed up. (Photo: George Doyle/Getty Images)