How to Take a Casual Relationship To the Next Level
Follow these tips to upgrade your “friend” to “my man."
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If I Was Your Girlfriend - You’ve been spending time with a guy for a few months and suddenly it hits you: you like him like him. But how do you take things to the next level? Follow these tips to upgrade your “friend” to your “boyfriend.” By Kenrya Rankin Naasel (Photo: Cavan Images/GettyImages)
Photo By Photo: Cavan Images/GettyImages
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Get Real With Yourself - Ask yourself a few questions: Are you ready? Is he the one—and not just the convenient one? Does he respect you? Do you like who you are around him? Do you feel good about yourself after you spend time together? If you can answers yes to all these questions, then you’re in a good place to move forward. (Photo: Skip ODonnell/GettyImages)
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Pay Attention - Forget what he says, what does he do? His actions will tell you most of what you need to know about his feelings for you. Does he initiate contact, or do you always have to call him? Do you go on real dates, or do you consistently end up in someone’s bed? Have you met his friends or parents? Has he met yours? Do you talk about your lives, jobs and families? Look for signs that he’s making as much effort to build as you are. (Photo: Cavan Images/Getty Images)
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Be Yourself - It’s important to keep up with the things that are important to you, even as you try to forge a bond with him. You’ll show him that you’ll make for a fantastic, well-rounded partner, while continuing to pursue the very things he likes about you anyway. So if you have a standing Saturday morning run with your bestie and he asks you out for brunch, tell him you can meet after. And while it’s sweet to take an interest in what he enjoys, don’t force yourself to watch basketball every single day during the playoffs if it feels like torture. On the flip side, don’t ask him to let go of his favorite things for you, either—it won’t end well. (Photo: Hero Images/Corbis)
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Show Him You Care - When you are with him, give him 100% of your attention; no texting, taking calls, or otherwise appearing uninterested. Make him feel as good as he makes you feel. (Photo: George Shelley/Corbis)
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Be Mysterious - You want him to know that your time is valuable and that he is lucky that you choose to share it with him. This isn’t about being evasive or playing games— ain’t anybody got time for that—but don’t be so available that he never has to wonder if he can see you. Take a couple minutes to respond to his texts, don’t automatically say yes to same-day meet ups; make him plan to spend time with you.(Photo: Stephen Morris/Getty Images)
Photo By Photo: Stephen Morris/Getty Images
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Go on an Adventure - Forget dinner and a movie, try dates that throw you into new experiences together. You’ll create good memories and fortify your bond. Plus, you’ll see how he does outside his comfort zone, which will tell you a lot about your prospective future together. Things to try: a county fair, fishing, an outdoor concert festival, hiking, the zoo or a winery tour. (Photo: Fuse/Getty Images)
Photo By Fuse
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Speak Up - This is not the same as having a “DTR (Define The Relationship) Talk.” The goal here is just to tell him how you feel, with no expectation. Don’t ask him to reciprocate by spilling his feelings, don’t give him an ultimatum (“If you don’t want to be with me, tell me now and I will move on.”) or try to convince him to be with you, because you don’t want someone who needs to be convinced of your awesomeness. Try this: “I like you. I enjoy the time we spend together and I’m not seeing anyone else. I’m not telling you this to force your hand, I just want to be honest.” Then relax and feel good about being grown up enough to express your feelings genuinely, without fear. If he confesses his love for you, great. If not, be patient. He’s thinking about your words and will eventually tell (or show) you how he feels, one way or the other. (Photo: AAGAMIA/GettyImages)