How to Deal With Bae's Opposite Sex Best Friend

First off, just say no to ultimatums.

The Other Woman - You think you’ve finally found the one: He’s kind, generous, sexy and has his stuff together. But there’s just one problem — you’re not the only woman who he’s feeling. Yup, his bestie is a chick, and you’re not sure if it’s insecurity or an inappropriate relationship that has your stomach in knots. Here’s what to do if bae’s BFF is giving you pause. By Kenrya Rankin(Photo: Boone Rodriguez/Corbis)

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The Other Woman - You think you’ve finally found the one: He’s kind, generous, sexy and has his stuff together. But there’s just one problem — you’re not the only woman who he’s feeling. Yup, his bestie is a chick, and you’re not sure if it’s insecurity or an inappropriate relationship that has your stomach in knots. Here’s what to do if bae’s BFF is giving you pause. By Kenrya Rankin(Photo: Boone Rodriguez/Corbis)

Look in the mirror - Do you have close friends of the opposite sex? We’d bet that the thought of tonguing down one of those dudes you call brothers makes you throw up in your mouth a little (and vice versa). So why is it so hard to understand that it’s entirely possible that he feels the same way about his bestie?  (Photo: Jamie Grill/Blend Images/Corbis)

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Look in the mirror - Do you have close friends of the opposite sex? We’d bet that the thought of tonguing down one of those dudes you call brothers makes you throw up in your mouth a little (and vice versa). So why is it so hard to understand that it’s entirely possible that he feels the same way about his bestie?  (Photo: Jamie Grill/Blend Images/Corbis)

Be Observant - Don’t assume that their relationship is a threat to yours. Instead, spend some time with them together and watch. How do they interact? Do they touch in ways that you find inappropriate? Does she go out of her way to prove how much better she knows him than you do, or make jokes tinged with sexual innuendo? Or are they like brother and sister, content to talk trash about each other and regale you with stories of their shared childhood? Often just seeing how different their relationship is from the one you share with bae will be enough to put you at ease.(Photo: Hero Images/Corbis)

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Be Observant - Don’t assume that their relationship is a threat to yours. Instead, spend some time with them together and watch. How do they interact? Do they touch in ways that you find inappropriate? Does she go out of her way to prove how much better she knows him than you do, or make jokes tinged with sexual innuendo? Or are they like brother and sister, content to talk trash about each other and regale you with stories of their shared childhood? Often just seeing how different their relationship is from the one you share with bae will be enough to put you at ease.(Photo: Hero Images/Corbis)

Make a New Friend - Why should he get to have all the fun? Make a real effort to be friends with her on your own terms. Take her to brunch or invite her to go to the gym. You’ll likely feel more at ease the better you get to know her. Plus, she has wisdom that you should take advantage of. She’s the perfect person to tap when you need help picking a Christmas gift or understanding just how badly his last girlfriend hurt him (‘cause you know he’ll never spill).(Photo: Peathegee Inc/Blend Images/Corbis)

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Make a New Friend - Why should he get to have all the fun? Make a real effort to be friends with her on your own terms. Take her to brunch or invite her to go to the gym. You’ll likely feel more at ease the better you get to know her. Plus, she has wisdom that you should take advantage of. She’s the perfect person to tap when you need help picking a Christmas gift or understanding just how badly his last girlfriend hurt him (‘cause you know he’ll never spill).(Photo: Peathegee Inc/Blend Images/Corbis)

Enlist His Help - If your unease about their relationship goes beyond just feeling a certain kind of way because she’s a chick, it’s time to talk to him. But first, do some soul searching. What, exactly, don’t you like? Does she call him too late at night? Jump into his personal space a bit too often for your liking? Expect him to drop everything — including you — to console her when her boyfriend is acting up? Then tell him, specifically, what you don’t like, why and what you want him to do about it, then give him time to make it happen.(Photo: Sonja Pacho/Corbis)

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Enlist His Help - If your unease about their relationship goes beyond just feeling a certain kind of way because she’s a chick, it’s time to talk to him. But first, do some soul searching. What, exactly, don’t you like? Does she call him too late at night? Jump into his personal space a bit too often for your liking? Expect him to drop everything — including you — to console her when her boyfriend is acting up? Then tell him, specifically, what you don’t like, why and what you want him to do about it, then give him time to make it happen.(Photo: Sonja Pacho/Corbis)

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Just say no to ultimatums - Either way, you’ll lose. Let’s look at facts: He has known his bestie way longer than you, and there is a good chance that he will opt for the sure thing (his time-tested friendship) over you (his new boo). On the off chance that he does choose you, you’ll have to deal with the residual resentment. Don’t do it to yourself.(Photo: Hero Images/Corbis)

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Just say no to ultimatums - Either way, you’ll lose. Let’s look at facts: He has known his bestie way longer than you, and there is a good chance that he will opt for the sure thing (his time-tested friendship) over you (his new boo). On the off chance that he does choose you, you’ll have to deal with the residual resentment. Don’t do it to yourself.(Photo: Hero Images/Corbis)

Trust Him - Relationships simply don’t work without trust. If you’ve expressed your concerns, he has taken them seriously and re-jiggered things to make them fix the boundaries you’re comfortable with, the rest is up to you. You have to make the decision to trust that they are just friends and be OK with it.(Photo: Hero Images/Corbis)

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Trust Him - Relationships simply don’t work without trust. If you’ve expressed your concerns, he has taken them seriously and re-jiggered things to make them fix the boundaries you’re comfortable with, the rest is up to you. You have to make the decision to trust that they are just friends and be OK with it.(Photo: Hero Images/Corbis)

Or Leave Him - If you still don’t feel comfortable with their relationship, listen to your gut and keep it moving. If the situation makes you feel bad, why on earth would you continue to try to make it work? Be good to yourself and wish him luck.(Photo: Sasha Gulish/Corbis)

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Or Leave Him - If you still don’t feel comfortable with their relationship, listen to your gut and keep it moving. If the situation makes you feel bad, why on earth would you continue to try to make it work? Be good to yourself and wish him luck.(Photo: Sasha Gulish/Corbis)