How to Be More Resilient

Tips to help you build and draw on inner strength.

Forward March - We all encounter setbacks, from failed relationships to missed promotions. But what’s really important is how we bounce back from them, and our ability to see beyond the stresses of today to the better times of tomorrow—and keep going until we reach them. Read on for tips to help you build and draw on inner strength to get you through tough times. By Kenrya Rankin Naasel (Photo: Tetra Images/Corbis)

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Forward March - We all encounter setbacks, from failed relationships to missed promotions. But what’s really important is how we bounce back from them, and our ability to see beyond the stresses of today to the better times of tomorrow—and keep going until we reach them. Read on for tips to help you build and draw on inner strength to get you through tough times. By Kenrya Rankin Naasel (Photo: Tetra Images/Corbis)

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Sleep - It sounds strange, but getting an adequate amount of sleep is key to coping with the stressors that cause setbacks. So get your recommended seven to nine hours each night. (Photo: JGI/Jamie Grill/Getty Images)

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Listen to Your Thoughts - When you hear negativity creep in—like, “You constantly make stupid mistakes,” or “No one will ever want you”—be your own advocate and put a halt to that type of thought. Practice being kind to yourself the way you would be to your bestie if she were in a similar situation. (Photo: Michael Poehlman/Getty Images)

Set Rules Together - Your room is not a dictatorship. Sit down together and work out rules that you can both live by. Be sure to cover topics such as cleaning (How often will you sweep and who will do it?), visitors (Can dates spend the night?), noise (What time must the music go off?) and sharing (Can you use her nail polish without asking?).  (Photo: Peathegee Inc/Getty Images)

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Develop Strong Relationships - People who have loved ones—close parents, best friends, partners, church family—have an easier time bouncing back. Do what you can to strengthen those ties, and you’ll be rewarded with a support system you can count on. (Photo: Peathegee Inc/Getty Images)

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Put Things in Perspective - Yeah, the dude you thought could possibly be the one got someone else pregnant, but for real: that monkey doesn’t stop your show! And at least it happened now, after just a couple dates, rather than when y’all are married with your own family. That, my dear, is perspective. Buck up! (Photo: Stock Shop Photography LLC/Getty Images)

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Look for the Lesson - It’s hard to believe that everything happens for a reason when you’re dealing with a disaster, but you can get something out of it if you search for what you’re supposed to learn from the situation. Did you get passed over for your dream job because you weren’t able to effectively sell your skill set? Now you know what to work on for the next time an opportunity comes up. (Photo: Hero Images/Getty Images)

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Look for the Lesson - It’s hard to believe that everything happens for a reason when you’re dealing with a disaster, but you can get something out of it if you search for what you’re supposed to learn from the situation. Did you get passed over for your dream job because you weren’t able to effectively sell your skill set? Now you know what to work on for the next time an opportunity comes up. (Photo: Hero Images/Getty Images)

Computer Love - These days, online dating might as well just be called “dating.” Why? Because it is so common; studies show that at least 38% of people who identify as “single and looking” are using the Internet to connect. Here are the pros and cons of using the Web to find love. By Kenrya Rankin Naasel (Photo: Jupiterimages/Getty Images)

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Make a Plan - Use the lessons you’ve learned to create a plan that will move you beyond disappointment and on to your next great adventure. If your relationship went south, maybe that means renewing your Match.com profile; if a family member passed away and you’re feeling adrift, maybe you need to schedule a trip to your hometown so you can reconnect with your aunties. (Photo: Jupiterimages/Getty Images)

Aim for Flexibility - Part of what makes setbacks so hard is that they are a detour from what you expected. When you make the decision to be flexible, you keep in mind that there are many roads that will get you to where you want to go—and sometimes you’ll discover a whole new, better destination.(Photo: Stephen Tamiesie/Transtock/Corbis)

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Aim for Flexibility - Part of what makes setbacks so hard is that they are a detour from what you expected. When you make the decision to be flexible, you keep in mind that there are many roads that will get you to where you want to go—and sometimes you’ll discover a whole new, better destination.(Photo: Stephen Tamiesie/Transtock/Corbis)

Pencil in Some Fun - Scheduling time to do the things you enjoy, whether it’s a solo movie or a night out with your girls or a trip to a vineyard, not only helps you de-stress, but it also gives you something to look forward to, even when things are difficult. (Photo: Ronnie Kaufman/Larry Hirshowitz/Blend Images/Corbis)

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Pencil in Some Fun - Scheduling time to do the things you enjoy, whether it’s a solo movie or a night out with your girls or a trip to a vineyard, not only helps you de-stress, but it also gives you something to look forward to, even when things are difficult. (Photo: Ronnie Kaufman/Larry Hirshowitz/Blend Images/Corbis)