The Dos and Don’ts of Juggling Motherhood, Relationships and Your Career
Every single mom knows the struggle, but we can help.
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No More Drama - On this week’s Being Mary Jane, both Kara and Niecy wrestled with the concept of “having it all,” as they worked to balance motherhood and work. Every single mom knows that struggle. But we can help. Here are the dos and don’ts of juggling your kids, your lover, you job and your friends without dropping any of the balls. By Kenrya Rankin (Photo: BET)
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DO stop using the word “balance.” - Think about a scale. It’s balanced when the weight on both sides is equal. But your responsibilities don’t all carry the same weight, and consequently don’t deserve the same amount of your attention. Before you can feel like you have all the parts of your life under control, you have to realize that working to achieve balance actually makes no sense. Instead… (Photo: Len DeLessio/ Getty Images)
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DON’T shy away from prioritizing. - Now that you’ve let go of the idea that everything deserves an equal share of your energy, take the time to list the major things in your life in order of importance. Maybe your kids are at the top of the list, followed by the job that keeps a roof over your heads, and then your friends because they keep you sane, which leaves new bae at the bottom, ’cause he’s new. Prioritizing will help you know where to devote your energy at any given time. (Photo: Yuri/ Getty Images)
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DO remember self-care. - Don’t get so caught up in meeting the needs of those around you that you forget to tend to your own needs. Whether that means washing your hair, getting a manicure, closing your door for 10 minutes or treating yourself to a nice, quiet lunch alone, add yourself to your list of priorities. (Photo: Image Source/ Getty Images)
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DON’T shy away from writing everything down. - It may seem nutty to schedule time to take the kids to the park or have a weekly Netflix and chill night, but making lists of the things you need to do each day will help keep you on track. Plus, there is something encouraging about checking things off when you’ve completed them. Go old school with a dedicated journal, or use the Wunderlist app (Android, Apple, Windows) for on-the-go tracking. (Photo: andresr/ Getty Images)
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DO give the kids responsibilities. - When it comes to completing tasks at home, draft your little people to lighten your load. Give them age-appropriate chores. Even toddlers can toss their dirty clothes in the hamper, pick up their toys and put away silverware. And older children can do their own laundry, take out the trash and clean the car. (Photo: Jupiterimages/ Getty Images)
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DON’T be afraid to ask for help. - We know it’s hard to raise your hand when you need an assist. But pairing with another single mom can help take the pressure off both of you. Maybe one of you can pick up both kids from daycare and the other can do drop off each morning, or you can switch off hosting Saturday afternoon play dates to give each other a rest, or hire babysitters in tandem and split the fee. Figure out how you can work together to keep you both sane. (Photo: Yellow Dog Productions/ Getty Images)
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DO less - It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you’re slipping if you’re not volunteering to cook for the school bake sale, raising your hand to head the latest campaign at work, shuttling the kids to lessons and practices four days a week, dropping by every brunch with your homegirls and baking your dude’s favorite dessert twice a week. Ma’am — it’s OK to sit down. Figure out what’s truly important for you and yours to feel fulfilled and fall back from all the other stuff. Doing it all won’t make you any better at your multiple jobs, but it will make you exhausted. (Photos from left: Bellurget Jean Louis, Jennifer Sharp, Jupiterimages/ Getty Images)