When we last left our two dysfunctional, bickering, and perpetually in peril heroes they had just taken down Cuban drug lord Johnny Tapia. And a lot has happened since then. So just how on earth did a clearly rattled and over-it Marcus continue his turbulent partnership with the beyond cocky, freewheeling Mike? It seems almost improbable that their relationship could survive another year after the trigger-happy detective accidentally shot his married partner in the behind during a showdown with the Ku Klux Klan.

There’s also a bat sh-t car chase in which the duo is literally bombarded by dead bodies stuffed with pills and money and a string of deaths--one ending with the brutal third rail demise of a suspect during a fight on a public train (“You barbecued our only lead, Mike,” said a comically dejected Marcus. “This has got to be the worst, most emotional cop week of my life.”) And if that weren’t enough, Mike is secretly dating Marcus’ sister Syd (more on that later)! Now that’s a violation. 

In the last installment of the Bad Boys franchise, 63 people were bumped off in a myriad of ways, from gratuitous headshots and wild car crashes to land mines in Cuba. Not sure what Bad Boys for Life will do to top the last big budget, obnoxious carnage, especially without the over-the-top direction of the aforementioned Bay, who never met an explosion he didn’t like. But whatever the figure, things are sure to be quite downright ridiculous. 

There are essentially two types of third sequels: Eddie Murphy’s beyond bloated, needless Beverly Hills Cop III (1994) or the lean, re-energized Bourne Ultimatum, which saw unlikely everyman action star Matt Damon lead the film to even bigger box office success ($442.8 million worldwide) than its predecessor, The Bourne Supremacy ($285.5 million). The good news is Smith and Martin have nowhere to go but up given that their last outing together was a mixed bag of genuine laughs and overdone stunts.

One of the true bright spots of Bad Boy II was the relationship between Mike and Marcus’ sister, special agent Sydney Burnett, played with delectable summer popcorn joy by the always inviting Gabrielle Union. What makes the chemistry work is the eye-winking, on-screen banter between the two actors that never comes off as stiff or forced. So, will we be blessed with a surprise appearance from Mrs. Wade? Let’s hope.

While the father-grills-daughter’s-deer-in-headlights-boyfriend gag has been used since Hollywood’s silent movie era, in Bad Boys II it’s implemented to comedy perfection. “Who the f--k are you?!!!” barks Marcus as he greets his 15-year-old little girl Megan’s nervous date, Reggie, who is well over 6 feet tall. He even asks for ID and pats the kid down. Mike adds to the absurd back and forth playing the role of an ex con. “Shit, n----- you at least 30,” he bristles as he later brandishes a gun, scaring poor Reggie to death. 

Witnessing the usually family-friendly Will Smith drop the N-word so fluently was shocking (and laugh-inducing) enough. But the punch line lands even harder when the criminally underrated Theresa Randle plays straight woman: “Baby, the red shirt’s nice,” she sweetly compliments the young man. “You guys have a good time.” In a perfect world Megan and Reggie are still together. Let’s hope there’s a scene that matches such on-screen hilarity.

There’s nowhere in the action genre bylaws that says a villain must be a fully formed, complex human being with a back story that explains how he or she veered into a life of crime. But for God’s sake, at least have the courtesy to not trip over stale, mind-boggling stereotypes. Bad Boy II’s ham-fisted portrayal of a Cuban drug don was already side-eye worthy. But that was trumped by its woefully offensive take on Haitians. 

Not only were they buffoonish gangsters, they looked (and sounded) like they were Jamaican, complete with Rasta hats and clothing. There was no Haitian dialect to be found, only laughable dreadlock wigs and cartoonish acting. 

In 2003, hip-hop was on a SoundScan sales sugar high. This was the era when even B-level spitters like Lil Flip and Chingy were going platinum and double platinum respectively. So, of course, a Bad Boys II soundtrack, executive produced by ubiquitous music mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs and featuring such heavy hitters as Nelly, 50 Cent, Beyonce and Snoop Dogg, and Mary J. Blige was destined for million-plus selling commercial glory. 

All this to say, DJ Khaled, the ultimate jukebox salesman, has his work cut out for him. Overseeing Bad Boys for Life’s wildly diverse and at times odd collection of tracks, the Miami native offers a few hometown no-brainers (Rick Ross, City Girls, and Pitbull) and a heavy nod to its Spanish-speaking culture (Farruko, Nicky Jam, Daddy Yankee). And while the Black Eyed Peas/J. Balvin collaboration “RITMO” is pretty ridiculous, it’s already a hit having recently topped the Billboard Hot Latin Songs chart.