In her upcoming memoir, Master of Me: The Secret to Controlling Your Narrative, Keke Palmer reflected on the difficult breakup with her ex-boyfriend, Darius Jackson, and the complexities of their relationship as new parents. 

"It was the hardest thing I ever had to go through," she wrote in her book, according to PEOPLE. She added that the strain of “having a baby” put intense pressure on her relationship with Jackson. “Not just with my romantic relationships, but with family and friends, it’s always become a burden. Too many voices get in. It can make everybody else not trust you. It’s hard to explain,” she wrote. 

The pair’s relationship, which first went public in 2021, was scrutinized in July 2023 after Jackson publicly criticized Palmer’s outfit at an Usher concert, sparking a viral discussion on social media. Shortly after, Palmer filed for a restraining order against Jackson, alleging instances of domestic violence and seeking sole custody of their son.

In the book, the “Nope” actress said the relationship was not all bad. “I wish I could say he was terrible the entire time or that I was,” she wrote. “But it wasn’t that black-and-white, and that was the problem. I didn’t want my son to think his father is a monster because I don’t.” Palmer, however, believes that finding peace and forgiving Jackson was a necessary step forward, adding, “I’m so proud of him and happy for him.” Jackson recently joined the military, a move Palmer feels brought them to a better place.

Palmer and Jackson’s relationship began with optimism and hope. “When we met each other and we had fallen in love, it was very much so ‘this is the time.’ Not only is this the person but this is the right time. It was a conscious decision. We planned [to have Leodis],” she told PEOPLE in the interview below.