Usher’s ex-wife Tameka Foster is opening up about their marriage in a new memoir called Here I Stand… in a Beautiful State, which she spoke about on Wednesday via Tamron Hall.

Foster also spoke about how she coped with the tragic loss of her son Kile Glover, who died from head injuries he suffered in a jet skiing accident nearly a decade ago. 

“It took a long time to get here. I probably figured this out in the last year. I spent 10 years not believing it, in denial, still throwing parties, you know what I mean,” she told Hall. “I would give the most huge something on his birthday. I would go in, like rent a whole museum and start this and balloons and we’d have food and cake and performances. Like I would go crazy about this thing I was like, ‘This is my right, he’s still here!’”

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Foster added: “I definitely wasn’t in this space. It took a while, it took many losses and me replaying all these different things for me to say, ‘our lives are predestined.’ I think our path has already been decided. What we’re going to be, what we’re going to do is already in God’s hands.”

Jeffrey Simon Hubbard, the man involved in the Lake Lanier wreck, was convicted of homicide by vessel.

When it comes to processing her son’s death, Foster says Kile “fulfilled his contract” during his time alive.

“I did come to a realization that we all have a certain amount of time on Earth, whatever our time is, we don’t know how much time we have,” she said. “And I realized that he had fulfilled his contract, he had done what he was supposed to do on earth. And I know it’s hard when people hear me say that because they go, ‘How can you say that? He’s only 11!’ But he had made such an impact and he had such good energy and he was such a good person.”

Watch the full segments below.