Amber Rose finally decided to undergo breast reduction surgery earlier this year after contemplating for nearly three years. In an exclusive interview with People she opened up about life post-op, “I was scared that I wouldn’t feel sexy anymore, but it got to the point where I literally was in pain.”

“It was almost as if I had like a heavy backpack on my chest.” Ultimately Amber made the decision to have a breast reduction when her “girls,” a size 36H cup size naturally, started effecting her ability to exercise, and to perform with her partner and ex Maksim Chmerkovskiy on Dancing with the Stars in 2016.

“My boobs slowed me down. And, my partner, Maks, would be like, ‘Come on! Hurry up, faster, faster, faster.’ And, I’m like, ‘Dude, I can’t go any faster! I’m like in pain. I literally cannot move that fast,’” she says.

The surgery lasted three-and-a-half-hours and was performed by Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr. Garth Fisher in January. Like most women contemplating the procedure, Rose was worried about scarring, but the unbearable pain ultimately swayed her. Now at a 36DDD cup size, Rose says “it’s like a dream come true to wear things like spaghetti-strapped tank tops.”

“Now when I’m running out the door, I don’t have to search for the right bra to fit within the shirt or to match the color of the shirt, so, it doesn’t show and look gaudy,” Rose said. “I can kind of just throw it on and I’m like, ‘This is amazing!’ I’ve been missing this my whole life.”